Never a good day when you get blood on your shoes

Newspaper

I was explaining the risks of anesthesia to a patient before cardiac surgery... the patient said "no problem, I'm not going any where". I said I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. The patient said "As long as I'm not on the front page, nor on the back page (obituaries), we're in good shape"

Saw woman in recovery drinking coffee from a mug she brought in herself

Physical exam

Most daily progress notes include a physical exam portion to say how the patient looks, how the heart and lungs sound etc, this was the best exerpt today I found while looking through my patients

"HEEN: WNL, could use a shave"
(HEEN=Head,Ears, Eyes,Nose; WNL=Within Normal Limits)

Surgical Plan

The cardiac surgeon today announced the plan for today's cardiac case:

Out of the room by noon, without a balloon

(Referring to the Intra-Aortic Balloon Pump - a device inserted through the femoral artery into the descending thoracic aorta, used to augment cardiac output and help a person with poor heart function come off of the cardiopulmonary bypass pump)

The hard part about leaving early is avoiding the family members of patients you've just put to sleep

Paging system down

You don't realize how much we rely on the paging system until it goes down. We've turned into the hospital you see on TV, with "stat" pages overhead every 30 seconds.

heart trouble/car trouble

Sorry ma'am, the ambulance that your new heart was travelling in has broken down


(it's going to be a long day)